Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Spirituality is Overrated

In the most popular divorce books for women, memoirs such as Wild and Eat, Pray, Love, the female protagonists both seem to go on a spiritual journey to find satisfaction and redemption. But what about women who work full time or have kids to raise? They may not have the time, effort or means to take protracted journeys to distant countries or to traverse challenging mountain trails.

In going thorough my own divorce, I felt no need for spiritual healing. Initially, I was in pursuit of some triage. I had to rely on family, friends and a good lawyer to get through the steps of my divorce, concentrate at work, take care of my children and regain my focus. I chose not to concentrate on spirituality because I did not feel broken - just wounded. Sometimes, the person who does the cheating or initiates a divorce may feel troubled emotionally, but those who did not bring about this dramatic change may just want to roll with the punches or overcome the difficulties they face in order to feel better.

Is spirituality overrated? Not everyone chooses to delve into this nebulous area to feel empowered. It is important to know yourself and what fulfills you. While a divorce may be very unsettling, it does not have to signify the end of all that you know or recognize. You can utilize the methods of self soothing you always have relied on and add new ones - spending time with good friends, having fun with your children and family, hitting the tennis ball or even curling up with a great flick or a spellbinding read. Finding new outlets like therapy, dating and cultivating novel interests also helps. Make resilience your new goal if spirituality is not your desire!


  1. I, too, felt no need for spiritual healing...at least in the Eat, Pray Love sense. My healing came gradually with support from my sisters and love of my children and grandchildren...and time. I was devastated for a year or so after a thirty-six year marriage, but am thriving and happy and LOVE my "alone" time.

  2. That's great! I am really happy for you! You seem to be doing really well!