Sunday, February 23, 2014

The value of forgivness after divorce

We can all agree that thriving post-divorce is our common goal, but does happiness, self confidence and success demand that we forgive the ex who ended our marriage and split up our family? The issue of forgiveness has come up numerous times in the comments on this site, and some seem to believe that either one is bitter and trapped in the past, negatively affecting oneself and the children, or a person has forgiven their ex and moved on to brighter days. My view? This either-or proposition is false.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Evaluation Day: Contemplating if He is (still) Mr. Right

Although Valentine's Day is meant to be about love and romance, it is a holiday that can lead to just the opposite. Besides fueling the profits of Hallmark and ProFlowers, the day can be a catalyst for dissolving or ruining relationships. For those of us thinking about a new relationship after a messy and emotional divorce, the day can take on another meaning: Evaluation Day.

Valentine's Day is all about expectations: meeting them, exceeding them or failing to match them. Women, especially, use the day to evaluate their significant other, and a poor result can lead to a dramatic turn of events. A recent study of divorce filings in New York, Illinois and California by, a legal referral site, found that February is the busiest month for divorce filings, with a rise of almost 18% above the average month. In addition, those seeking referrals for a divorce lawyer increased 38% after the holiday, with the biggest spike occurring on the day after. The seedy affair site, Ashley Madison, reports that the top two days for women to sign up are Valentine's Day followed by Mother's day.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Enough Said Is More about Self-Confidence than Dating

Screencapture from FoxSearchlight Enough Said trailer
Before I was divorced, I paid little attention to how the media and the entertainment industry portrayed those who are trying to move on from failed marriages. Now, I see these portrayals in a new light and compare these stories to my experience. So, when Enough Said, starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Gandolfini, showed up on iTunes, I thought it would be interesting to not only look at it from my perspective, but to ask a man what he thought about it. Was it accurate? Was it biased towards a gender? Did it capture what divorcees go through?