Marriage is like a comfy chair for many people. You can easily find your favorite spot in any room, and feel settled where you are. But divorce is like careening down a giant slide. Navigating this troubling, new territory can be harrowing and traumatic, but the biggest surprise is that you may actually find more love afterwards.
Anyone who has been through a divorce has war stories—ugly, gory tales. Sometimes it is helpful to commiserate with each other by retelling these unpleasant events, but Sunny Splitsville is mostly about the positive—learning to thrive after the trauma of an unexpected divorce. Negativity is omnipresent and simple to embrace; a positive outlook is harder to maintain, especially in the first few months or even a year post-split. Bitterness is not what you want as your defining characteristic, so learning to adopt positivity (yes, I know the grammar is off) is critical to long-term happiness and success, both for you and your redefined family.
It is easy to get emotional whiplash from divorce. The process ushers in incredible emotional lows and even some highs. In the first few months, the negative feelings are often overwhelming, but, over time, the positives start to emerge again. I
used to think that I had consistency in my life, and liked making long-term plans. Now, almost 14 months from the official demise of my marriage, I have discovered that my new normal
is a bit of a roller coaster ride, and rolling with the punches is all
part of learning to thrive. Some of the craziest days I have dealt with managed to cram dramatic highs and lows into only a few short hours. The day my ex announced his re-marriage, and my daughter heard about her early admission to college is a case in point.
Don't you just love the holidays? Menorahs, Christmas trees and a little bubbly to ring in the New Year. In my case, however, this time of year marks the anniversary of my ex husband hitting the road. When he left, he only took a duffel bag with him. Nice job! As usual, I was left to clean up his mess. I found it hard to face the entire job of packing his things myself.