Wednesday, November 20, 2013
What’s Wrong with Going for the Money?
Money and finances are serious issues for divorced women, especially those of us with teenagers or younger children. The standard of living for women usually fall significantly after divorce with reported figures of a 27% to 37% drop. Women returning to work after divorce must settle for lower family income and need to focus on retraining and enhancing their skills. Those fortunate enough to find paid work usually wind up with lower salaries than the ones they had previously. According to an article in the New Republic, studies show that for every two years a woman is absent from the labor force, her earnings fall by 10 percent - a penalty that lasts for her entire career.
As a result of lost income, some ladies feel the need to pursue a man with money when they return to the dating pool. Others may not need money desperately, but they want to return to a particular lifestyle they cannot reach on their own. For either, evaluating a potential man based on his bank account should not be seen as shallow. It is just one of many characteristics to consider when evaluating a potential spouse. Who among us does not think finances are important? Do we forget about the issue once married? No. Money is important. It should not be the only criteria to judge someone on, but it should also not be ignored.
To illustrate this point, I want to discuss a friend of mine. She was accustomed to a lavish lifestyle while she was married. Once she and her husband split, she set her sights on a guy with funds. Does she have to do so in order to make ends meet? Not really. She is quite capable. Post-divorce, she got a job with a six-figure salary almost immediately, joining a large company in the medical field. She could then afford to rent a new apartment and take care of her children.
While my friend has a busy and productive life – working long hours, tending to her kid’s needs, managing and attending their activities when possible and finding time to hit the gym – her lifestyle, unfortunately, has taken a substantial hit. I always admire that she is so accomplished in her field and respect her hard work, but sometimes the daily grind just gets to her, and she thinks about what she used to have. As she reflects on the past, a man with resources becomes more appealing. Plenty of men pursue younger women for their looks, and are often envied by their friends. Is it really so different to look for a successful man who can provide? I would never judge her. Would you?
Posted by Unknown at 10:54 AM
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I say , "Go for it !!!!" I hope she finds what she is looking for. Money , good personality and good looks are all key!!!ReplyDelete
Money and finances are a big part in divorces too.Delete
Whoever judges, judges oneself. "...be exactly who you want..." It can never be only the money. That would never work. No one can fake feelings, compassion, and/or love. Remember, many younger man with money may like older women. I feel that care, respect, love, sharing interests, and compassion will be more important at the end. Money can not buy Love alone.
I agree that money is certainly not the only factor and other things that you mention are important!Delete
men, beware. families of those men, also beware. i know several who got totally screwed by money grubbers. we women need to stand on our own two feet and stop sponging.ReplyDelete
Money grubbing is not an exclusively female trait. Men are also guilty. Women, and families of women (ie everybody) also beware!Delete
Women need to stand on their own two feet and need to teach their daughter that as well. Why? Because husbands and lovers may leave them and because we are human. People die or become disabled.ReplyDelete
...may become disabled... Sorry, mistake.ReplyDelete
A topic of considerable merit! I like the ideology behind your article. Considering the impact of financial stability, especially when you have children consider, should not garner criticism when vetting partner candidates!ReplyDelete
Agreed. Money is a taboo topic, but it is an important factor in so many decisions that we all make.ReplyDelete